WHAT IS A HEALTHY, FUNCTIONAL FAMILY
The job of a healthy, functional family is to provide an environment where the developmental needs, the basic human needs, of the individual family members can be met. These are some characteristics of a healthy or functional family:
A healthy family feels safe to all its members. All human beings need emotional safety; that is, the expectation that family interactions will be caring and that support will be given by family members to each other. This is required for the development of trust in adults.
A healthy family encourages its members to reach out to one another. To be open and not hide what they think and feel and who they are. This is required for the development of the ability to be and to feel close to other human beings in adulthood.
A healthy family handles confrontation, disagreement and conflict resolution among its members openly and honestly as well as directly and immediately. Family secrets are not tolerated. Snoring? Read thekissups.com/snorerx-reviews.html. All members, children included, are expected to speak for themselves. Being dedicated to reality in this way is important in our adult life as far as telling the truth, whatever the consequences.
In a healthy family, each person has both rights and responsibilities and these are fairly distributed between parents and children. Favor or preference is not given to the more powerful members of the family. This is required, if we are to reach adulthood feeling good about ourselves.
In a healthy family, flexibility takes preference over the "right" way of doing things. Options are explored, not announced; solutions are tried, not forced. Shame-based families are full of rules and when rules are broken, punishment follows. Healthy families have values and when values are violated, conversation follows. This is essential if we are ever, as adults, going to be able to identify our own needs clearly and then follow through in allowing those needs to be met.
Healthy families encourage a high level of personal initiative among children and adults and are encouraged by other family members to assume personal responsibility, not blame, for their choices, decisions and actions. This is important as far as the development of a sense of acceptance of personal responsibility for our adult self and our adult life.
In a healthy family, each member is taught to ask for what he/she needs openly and directly. When those needs cannot be immediately or completely met, a person has established avenues within the family to negotiate and compromise. Delaying gratification, through democratic means, is a skill vital to all healthy adult living.
In healthy families, each member expects and encourages emotional maturity and autonomy appropriate to each family member's age and experience level. Meaningful allowances are made for exceptions based on level of stress and stage of life. Vast room is made for growth and learning which comes from one's mistakes. This quality is absolutely essential to the development of self-respect in adulthood (more about male's problems: malebiologicalclock.com/andro400-reviews.html).
Healthy families see themselves realistically. They share common perceptions of reality and are dedicated to the truth. They make accurate statements about who they are; they are truthful about their limits; and they are free of shame for what they have yet to learn and become. This is important to the development of healthy boundaries in adulthood.
Healthy families are open and honest in the expression of emotions. Each member is encouraged to share feelings and talk about problems (look: http://americanpowerliftevolution.net/bodylab-tasty-shake-reviews.html). Family members see themselves, not so much as responsible for solving each other's problems, but as responsible for creating an environment in which each member can find his or her own solutions. In this way, personal, problem-solving skills are acquired for adulthood.
In a healthy family, the prevailing mood is one of warmth, affection and caring. Family members respect each other, and themselves, and recognize the importance of others' talents and contributions. This is essential to the development of integrity and to the valuing of human beings for who they are.
Healthy families are characterized by unconditional love. We now know that love MEANS what I choose to spend time with and what I bestow attention onto. If I love it, whether it be my work, my watch or my wife, I give it my attention and spend time with it. If I don't, I don't! Those who you spend less time with begin to feel worth less than other things. Eventually, they just feel worthless!
Healthy families have fun. Spontaneity abounds. Humor and wit are prevalent. Family members like to be together. This is essential to feeling good about ourselves as adults.